Sometimes I feel like an awful, horrible person. Because awful, horrible things happen to me and I believe wholeheartedly that those kinds of things only happen to awful, horrible people.
I was supposed to have the time of my life here, this was supposed to be the year of my life, but it seems that if I want it to be so, I have to be completely alone, and do it all by myself. Which makes no sense at all, since I’d need someone else to make this trip unforgettable. I’m a “sharing” person, a “people” person or something. But instead I find myself alone and the people who came here with me seem to care less if I am or not around. It’s crystal clear how much I annoy P, I guess we’re different enough to not be able to spend much time together. L lives in a world of her own, in which she’s the queen and the only one who matters. She forgets about me, often, and when she does remember, it seems that she’ll only do something for me if it doesn’t spoil her mighty plans for herself.
I’m not liked where I work. One boss thinks I’m unreliable, the other likes to yell at me. People I work with are always in a defensive position: “I did tell you about the meeting, you’re stupid enough to have thought you wouldn’t be part of it” or “I did that because it’s the right thing, if the consequences have fallen upon you, that’s only your fault”. I don’t get it. Why things are so complicated?
I’m not even going to start on my family. Instead of good wishes, I get complaints about everything. I’m travelling too much. I’m not working enough. I’m saving too much money. And then I’m spending too much money. My mother told me herself what an awful, horrible person I am. And I believe her. Because I’m surrounded by awful, horrible people, and everybody knows the apple doesn’t fall too far away from the tree.
I got robbed. Thank god I have a wonderful insurance company, and an amazing credit card company, because if it wasn’t for them, I’d have had so many more difficulties. But they cancelled my cards for me, sent me money, and my trip wasn’t lost. The day after, they called me to ask me if I was ok. My parents didn’t.
Although everything is fine now, I keep thinking about the money I lost. Everything happens for a reason. Why would I have to lose 600? The only good thing that came out of losing that much money was hearing my dad, on the phone, saying “forget about it now, try to have fun”. Was it worthy? Did I have to get robbed, and get lost and then desperate, for him to wish me a nice trip?
I do believe that almost everything can be purchased, and certainly everything has a price. “Have fun”; the two most expensive words I’ve ever bought.
I was supposed to have the time of my life here, this was supposed to be the year of my life, but it seems that if I want it to be so, I have to be completely alone, and do it all by myself. Which makes no sense at all, since I’d need someone else to make this trip unforgettable. I’m a “sharing” person, a “people” person or something. But instead I find myself alone and the people who came here with me seem to care less if I am or not around. It’s crystal clear how much I annoy P, I guess we’re different enough to not be able to spend much time together. L lives in a world of her own, in which she’s the queen and the only one who matters. She forgets about me, often, and when she does remember, it seems that she’ll only do something for me if it doesn’t spoil her mighty plans for herself.
I’m not liked where I work. One boss thinks I’m unreliable, the other likes to yell at me. People I work with are always in a defensive position: “I did tell you about the meeting, you’re stupid enough to have thought you wouldn’t be part of it” or “I did that because it’s the right thing, if the consequences have fallen upon you, that’s only your fault”. I don’t get it. Why things are so complicated?
I’m not even going to start on my family. Instead of good wishes, I get complaints about everything. I’m travelling too much. I’m not working enough. I’m saving too much money. And then I’m spending too much money. My mother told me herself what an awful, horrible person I am. And I believe her. Because I’m surrounded by awful, horrible people, and everybody knows the apple doesn’t fall too far away from the tree.
I got robbed. Thank god I have a wonderful insurance company, and an amazing credit card company, because if it wasn’t for them, I’d have had so many more difficulties. But they cancelled my cards for me, sent me money, and my trip wasn’t lost. The day after, they called me to ask me if I was ok. My parents didn’t.
Although everything is fine now, I keep thinking about the money I lost. Everything happens for a reason. Why would I have to lose 600? The only good thing that came out of losing that much money was hearing my dad, on the phone, saying “forget about it now, try to have fun”. Was it worthy? Did I have to get robbed, and get lost and then desperate, for him to wish me a nice trip?
I do believe that almost everything can be purchased, and certainly everything has a price. “Have fun”; the two most expensive words I’ve ever bought.
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